Important Life Update
I’ve been pretty silent on this for a while now, but I think its time to admit the truth.
On this past Saturday, I was fired from my job at Target.
I was devastated when this happened, and still am for the most part. The job I needed the most and enjoyed the most was taken away from me and I feel like it’s all my fault. On top of that, an ex-coworker who I made friends with is now telling me there are nasty rumors being spread around that store concerning me after my termination.
This isn’t the thing that is upsetting me though. The one thing that’s got me sick to my stomach. The one thing tying up my innards in knots and making me want to cry.
I’ve been lying to my family and pretending I still have a job.
I do not have any other options. My family has been so happy for me in getting the job in the first place and so relieved that I have a way to survive and support myself. If I tell anyone, especially my mother, that I was fired from my new job after only working two weeks, it would devastate them. The shame I would feel, and already do feel, would be too much for me to handle. I already feel like I’m the worthless fuck up child in my family and I can’t do anything right, and this recent turn of events just reinforces that mindset for me. Last year, right before Christmas, I lost my job at the time as well, and I had to admit to my mother the truth before Christmas. Needless to say my mother was angry and upset. Right before the most wonderful holiday of the year.
I can not, and will not, do this to her again this year.
So what does that mean for me? Well, I have a lead on a freelance job from a client who is willing to pay me a lot of money, enough to equal about 2 paychecks worth of cash (1 paycheck is about 450 dollars and I only got them every 2 weeks). If this all goes well, and this client is legit and actually does hire me, I can just pretend that I was let go in January and apply at another facility opening up early next year that my mother urged me to apply at.
However, this is a big risk and I can not put all my faith in one person.
Therefore, I am asking for your help, whomever may be reading this. I am taking commissions again, please look here for my commission post. Also, if you feel like donating, I will accept donations. My paypal e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org
again, I am not ASKING for donations, I am simply saying the are an option if you are in a giving spirit this holiday season.
I’m at my wits end, I don’t want to upset my family, I don’t like being a massive fuck up, I just don’t know what else I can do right now.
If you can’t commission or donate, I completely understand, but please boost me if you can.
Anyway, thank you for your time.
I’m very disappointed in myself, and I’m sorry.